The Cut Off     

 

It was a cloudy Tuesday afternoon. Suzie Stafford (not her real name) had just pulled into the driveway of her Northern Virginia home after picking up her son from school. Her phone chimed, and she answered. It was her sister Jane in Idaho. 

“Hi, Sis. How are you?” 

As Suzie listened, her face dropped. “Oh my!” she said. “We’ll get out there as soon as we can.” She ended the call and pocketed the phone. 

Timmy watched his mother, wondering what made her sad. “Mom, what’s wrong?” 

“That was Aunt Janie. Grandma had to be taken to the hospital. They said she has only a few days left to live.” 

“We’re going out there?” 

“As soon as I can get the tickets. I’ll call the school to tell them you’ll be gone for a little while.” 

“Is Dad going, too?” 

“I think he will if he can get the time off.” 

Suzie got the tickets for her and Timmy. John’s boss said he could go out if it was a funeral, not before. 

Early Thursday morning, Suzie and Timmy arrived at Dulles for the flight to Boise and a hop on Horizon Air to Twin Falls. With their baggage checked in, they waited in line for the TSA check-in. Finally their turn came. 

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Stafford, we can’t let you on the plane.”

“Why not?”

“Your name is on a no-fly watch list.”

“Does it say why?”

“It just says that you are being investigated as a possible terrorist.”

“What?! How can I be a terrorist? Do I look like a terrorist?”

“Just a moment. Let me check.” 

The TSA agent sent an inquiry and received a quick response.
“They say you made threats of violence against members of the local school board.”

“That’s insane!” Suzie retorted. “I did not threaten violence at all.”

“Well, that’s the FBI report.”

“But I have to get out there! My Mom is dying!” 

“I’m sorry. I know this is terribly urgent for you. But I can’t help it that you’re on the list, and I can’t change it.”

Suzie thought about it, then remembered what happened. During the open school board meeting, she’d said, “We’ll see to it that you’ll lose your seats!” 

That evening, on a national news program, Lon Demónne claimed that she had “threatened to cut off board members’ butts.” Then he laughed about it as though it was a big joke. 

Apparently, the FBI had taken him literally.