Buzzard Circles

 A Martyr Is Made   At the end of the third period, K'Shawn Branco left the Algebra I classroom. He headed down the stairs to the second floor

   The Cut Off        It was a cloudy Tuesday afternoon. Suzie Stafford (not her real name) had just pulled into the driveway of her Northern Virginia home after picking up her son from school. Her phone chimed, and she answered. It was her sister Jane in Idaho.  “Hi, Sis. How are you?”  As Suzie listened, her face dropped. “Oh my!” she said. “We’ll get out there as soon as we can.” She ended the call and pocketed the phone.  Timmy watched his mother, wondering what made her sad. “Mom, what’s wrong?”  “That was Aunt Janie. Grandma had to be taken to the hospital. They said she has only a few days left to live.”  “We’re going out there?”  “As soon as I can get the tickets. I’ll call the school to tell them you’ll be gone for a little while.”  “Is Dad going, too?”  “I think he will if he can get the time off.”  Suzie got the tickets for her and Timmy. John’s boss said he could go out if it was a funeral, not before.  Early Thursday morning, Suzie and Timmy arrived at Dulles for the fligh

    For a White Christmas   Comedic “journalist” Dunn Lemming went into a laughing fit after saying, “So you want a White Christmas? You’re not getting it this year because POTUS, that Chump, is mad at all of you. He told the Weather Service he didn’t want New York to have a White Christmas.” Waving her hand over the socially-distanced crowd, Rep. Allie Oakland-Curtis cried out, “All of you out there, you’re not getting a White Christmas this year.” She stretched her hand out, palm up, and looked at the sky as though expecting something. “See, no snow.” Lowering her gaze, her eyes swept the audience. “Wanta know why? I’ll tell you why. That man in the White House, that Chump, he had the Weather Service stop all snow until after New Year’s so we won’t have a White Christmas. He’s punishing us for electing Harris - I mean Biden (well, what’s the difference?). It’s time we let them know that we’re the ones who are mad, really mad!” That night and the following day, comedians and pundits w

Who's a Lady?  John “JJ” Jennings left the subway station and began walking to his office. On the next block was a group holding signs. Whatever they were protesting, he’d find out when passing them. It wasn’t too big a group, so he figured he could slip by. As JJ was easing past the group, he accidently bumped a women. Being the gentleman he was, he said, “Pardon me, Lady.” The woman whirled around to face him. She glared at him, holding her sign threatenlingly. “Lady?” she growled. “Lady? How DARE you call me a lady!” JJ was stunned. “What’s wrong with ‘Lady’?” he managed to say. The woman raised her voice loud enough to be heard a block away, “Do I look like a lady? Do I look like a privileged aristocrat who gets rich by exploiting the poor?” “No. No, you don’t,” JJ softly said. “Sorry I offended you.” He slipped away, walking a little faster toward the office tower. Now Lou “Crude Dude” Goober comes, pushing a hand cart. There’s no room to get by. He waits a coupl

 Signs at the Cross Roads An anti-religious activist group has filed suit against Virtue County in Idaho, asking for the removal of common traffic signs. The suit, filed in the United States District Court for the District of Idaho in Pocatello by Vanquish Vestigial Venerations (V3) alleges that these signs are offensive to some residents of the mostly rural county because they promote a particular religion. According to the suit, displaying a cross on a public sign encourages veneration of an out-dated religious symbol, a vestige of superstition. In Sanity, the county seat, Sam Bates, the County Engineer for Virtue County, blasted the lawsuit as frivolous and unwarranted, unfounded in fact, and bigoted. “If this was such a serious concern to them, why didn’t they file this suit in a county with more crossroads?” he said. “I can only think of two reasons why Virtue County is the defendant in this suit. First, they object to the county’s name. Second, we are a sparsely populat

Governor Bans Internet Video Conversations Wretched Gitmore, Governor of Myshowagain, has gotten even tougher on enforced social distancing during the current pandemic. Following protests over her previous executive orders requiring state residents to stay inside unless on essential business (not even going into your own yard), forbidding any and all “non-essential” travel (even to your own property), and having stores rope off “non-essential” items (such as seeds for food gardens), she has extended her bans on activities she considers risky. Now the governor has signed an order banning conversations conducted over the Internet. This includes platforms such as Facetime, Skype, and Zoom, as well as VOIP (Voice Over Internet Protocol) telephone service. During the news conference where the governor announced the new restrictions, a reporter questioned the logic of banning real-time communication which does not involve personal presence. “Aren’t these platforms safer than meeting f